Okay, Funny Stuff

I’m stressed, there is no denying that.  Still, there is some funny stuff that happened over the past few days that I’m starting to appreciate.

Here are some anecdotes for you all to share in our joy and pain.

I was going to jump in the water to save my wife.  It’s what you do, right?  Nope, she’s ordering me to call 911 first.  I kept asking if she could swim to the boat.  She kept telling me to call 911 first.  So leasoned learned.  Listen to your wife.  At least mine is pretty smart.  And a Level III first aid attendant at that and I had heard her say a thousand times you need to call 911 first no matter what.

When Darcy told me to call 911, I went to the bag where I knew the phone was and picked up my wallet by mistake instead of the phone, opened it like a phone and put it to my ear.  I threw it on the ground and yelled at myself ‘THAT’s NOT A PHONE!’  I did find the phone next and call 911.  Yeesh.

When going through the harbour on the way back, I apologized to someone for ripping past them.  Why would I do that??  Anyways, afterwards, Dan Sewell (owner of Sewells Marina) told me I did the right thing by not slowing down.  For some reason I felt better about doing that. 

Once Darcy was in the ambulance, they checked her heart pressure.  It was fine.  All I thought was, how could your heart pressure be fine?  You lost blood, your arm is in a million pieces, and yet somehow still so healthy. 

The ambulance attendant tried to give her an IV.  She was trying to give her a 20 gauge needle.  Darcy really only needed about a 12-14 gauge needle.  Anyways, Darcy said to her after she was trying for a few minutes ‘OKAY, YOU’RE DOING A REALLY BAD JOB OF THAT!’

The ride to the hospital was pretty slow, just normal highway speeds.  They chose to do that because there was greater risk of her getting jarred and to start bleeding again than there was of any benefit in getting there faster.  She was in pain, but that was all…  I chose to wait until she was medicated before telling her about that decision.

The second Darcy got to the ER she exclaimed ‘I would like drugs now please’.

Later in the ER, they’ve started giving Darcy morphine so the pain is discipating a bit.  I went to give her a kiss and she says to me ‘you need to brush your teeth’.  Yup, she’s feeling better even if her arm isn’t in one piece.

I come back to her in a bit (after having some mints) and she says to me ‘you have a white head on your nose’.  Yeesh Darcy, I’m still a little stressed from all this.  I’ll live with it for a bit, okay.

Darcy didn’t go to surgery for an entire day.  When I found out she was done and sitting in recovery, I started asking the nurses about her.  Apparently I created quite a comotion, when Darcy got out she told me that there were about 6 nurses running around all worked up trying to get her back to her room becuase ‘her husband was outside and frantic and she had promised to get Darcy out now!’  Anyways, I was pretty excited to see her, and to see her waving her good hand!!

That night I slept beside her again.  But there was no waking me up this time.  At one point in the night the nurse said to Darcy ’He’s a good sleeper, eh.’

I was such a good sleeper that Darcy was throwing stuff at me with her good hand and I wouldn’t wake up.  She eventually took her sling apart to hit me with it to wake me up.  Nope, that didn’t work either.

She did eventualy wake me up to tell me her blood pressure was lower than it should me and she started running a mild fever.  I asked her what that meant and she didn’t have an answer.  So, guess what I did?  I went back to sleep. 

She woke me up again when she found out the surgeon was going to come tell us about what he found from the surgery so that she could brush her teeth.  I asked her if she could wait an hour, I was tired.  I didn’t ask for 10 minutes, I asked for an hour.

I’m a good sleeper, what can I say.  And apparently I needed it.

I told her later I was a great nurse when I was awake, but no good when sleeping.  She’ll have to live with that.

At home, I had to change her bandage the first day because the nurse wasn’t scheduled to start until the following day.  Anyways, picture this.  Husband changing wifes bandage.  Wife is Level III first aid attendant.  I was not exactly setup for success.  But if you ask her, I did great!

More that once when trying to give her the pain meds I would have a glass in my left hand and the meds in the other hand.  She kept grabbing for the glass of water with her right hand (you know, the one with 27 STAPLES IN IT!!).  I kept pulling it away from her and she was getting miffed with me.  That was until I reminded her she wouldn’t be able to hold it and get it to her mouth with that hand.  She’s one handed for now, but not for long.  Still every time it happened her reaction was pretty funny.

Okay, I’m sure I’ll have more later, but those are some good ones for now.  I’m not in a relaxed state, still very stressed out with a ton of anxiety, but can say I love my wife, and still appreciate the humour we enjoy together. 

Corey.